How to spot a fake Abuja big boy

Last time we 'learnt' how to spot a 'fake Abuja
big babe' (see that here ), now lets learn how
to stop a 'fake Abuja big boy' as written by
Premium Times Chinenye Ugonna. Enjoy
These guys are always well-dressed with
flashy cars. Some of them are even from
rich homes. You see them looking like a
bag of money, meanwhile nothing in their
bank accounts.
There is nothing wrong with looking good
and not having money to back it up.
There is only something wrong when you
are doing it for packaging. Continue...

1. Always with the fake accent: Apparently,
this is not exclusive to the babes. The male
FABBs use all the accents in the world; British,
American and Nigerian accent all muddled up
in one. If they are talking to a babe who
probably lived in the UK with a British accent,
their accent automatically changes just to
impress. Please, embrace your Nigerian accent,
whether it is an Igbo, Yoruba or Hausa accent,
be proud of it. You don’t see an American man
trying to talk like a Nigerian.

2. He only dates working girls: This is a highly
defining character of the male FABB. They do
not date jobless babes. If you don’t have a J -O
-B, then it’s onto the next one. They do not
want to be bothered about taking care of a
babe who’s probably still in school or sharing
CV about. That is not in their dictionary of
potential girlfriends.

3. He drives the flashiest of flashy cars:
Warning: Don’t be deceived, the car belongs to
their father or uncle.
4. He always has a political connection: A
typical Abuja boy is always related to some
politician or influential person. The politicians
are always their uncle but hardly ever their
father. Sometimes, it could even be a politician
they have met once- he becomes their uncle.

5. He is a mummy’s boy: Most of the rich
male FABBs live off the wealth of their family
who still pay for everything they own. If you
know a guy who lives in a very expensive
duplex in Maitama but does not have a regular
job, check that guy! They probably even get
monthly allowance from their parents every
month as grown men. Hey, not judging, you do

6. He immediately introduces you to his
family/friends: Imagine you meet this nice
looking guy in Abuja, and before you know it,
he has introduced you to his family and
friends. In your mind, you are thinking that
you are an iyawo (wife in the Yoruba
language), not knowing you are girlfriend no. 9.

7. He spontaneously proposes to you after a
short period of dating: They tell you that you
are a wife material or even propose marriage
so they can be living off their new working class
babe. You would cook, clean and before you
know it, you have turned to their provider.
Their food, shelter, and clothing would be
taken care of by the working class babe. They
start with “Please, borrow me N10, 000, I
would pay you back.” Next time, it’s N20, 000
and then it keeps increasing. Of course, the
babe will never get her money back. If you are
guilty of this, it’s not good o! It should be a
joint effort.

8. He only remembers his babe on
Thursdays: This is the time to remember all
the hook-ups they have forgotten from Monday
to Wednesday. They need to get a babe to turn
up with during the weekend. If Halima doesn’t
respond, Salewa will. After all there are many
fishes in the sea.

9. He doesn’t have a proper job: This is not
referring to the guys who genuinely work/hustle
for their money from Monday to Friday to
make ends meet. Thumbs up! This is for the
guys who claim they work during the week but
people still cannot point a finger on what they
do. On Friday, they would be the first to
update their status with: “Turn up weekend,

10. He’s always the first to pop bottles in
the club: They are always the first to order
bottles just to impress. When it’s time to pay,
they would remember they have to go to the
bathroom. It’s not by force to pop champagne.
After popping and being forced to pay, they
come home to eat noodles. Bear in mind that
the money would have bought you a nice plate
of jollof rice and a big fat chicken.
So, there you have the Fake Abuja Big Boy,
FABB away.

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